How cauliflower pizza taught me to RTFM

Having nailed cauliflower base pizza on my first attempt bcos I finally gave into the inevitable and followed a set of instructions to the letter, I learnt an important lesson about doing what I’m told.

I mentioned in my recipe post that I spent what must have amounted to hours trying to find a recipe that didn’t make me ring all the excess water out of the cauliflower ‘rice’ bcos it sounded like a pain in the arse and I couldn’t be bothered to do it. No such recipes existed, bcos it’s an integral part of the dish. I might as well have been searching for “cauliflower pizza recipe without cauliflower.”

With that in mind, I decided it was time to Read The Fucking Manual with some other bits and bobs in my routine, and, er, it turns out things work much better when you do what you’re supposed to..

Beauty Blender
I first bought a beauty blender what must be two or three years ago now. I kept buying them, hating them, throwing them away, watching youtube videos that made them look so great, buying them, hating th.. Yeah. The idea of putting a wet sponge on my face at 7am never appealed so I barely dampened it, which meant I was effectively covering a dry sponge with foundation and wondering why it all sank in and none of it made it onto my face. Anyway, I gave one another shot maybe six weeks ago and haven’t looked back since. Turns out if you RTFM and use it like you’re supposed to, they actually make your foundation look banging. New routine: take it into the shower with me in the morning, cover it in cleanser, wet it, wash it, quick squeeze on a towel and it’s ready to go.

I got a Clarisonic from my parents for Christmas in a sneaky move that saw me buying it for myself with my mum paying me back. I told her it would be easier than her bringing it on the plane, but really I just wanted the £15 of Boots advantage card points it got me. Cheers Jen. Anyway, I was using it on the 60 second cycle with 20 seconds on each cheek, 10 on my forehead, 10 on my nose and chin. It stopped working recently (bcos I hadn’t made sure the charger had fully magnetised to the handle before leaving it for 18 SODDING HOURS to recharge) so I panicked and searched the instruction manual for what to do next. Turns out RTFM teaches you that you’re supposed to use it for 20 seconds on your forehead and chin and nose, and only 10 seconds on each cheek. Since doing that, my skin is behaving much better and my eyebrows are growing bizarrely fast.

So er, do what you’re told, yeah?