I’ve found that I work on a 2/3 system for success.
Weight
Money
Love.
In my experience, only two of those three factors can work at the same time. And it’s been that way for a while.
If I’m single, I have the time and money to spend on getting my shit together, and don’t have to worry about giving up on work-out time to be home in time to see my boyfriend, or give up a good day of eating to go out for dinner.
If I’m loved up, money goes out the window, because I’m busy buying food for two, or presents here or there to show how much I love the person I’m with. Or, my weight goes haywire because I’m too busy being being in love to worry about what I look like, or our combined wealth makes going out for dinner and splurging on takeaways a far too easy option.
What worries me most though, is being given the opportunity for all three to work in tandem. Right now I’m dating someone who really could be The One. In fact, I have no doubts – he is The One. We have a lovely little flat together, no real money worries, and he’s super sporty. I have all the tools I need to finally give Operation Kate Upton a real go – so wish me luck.
Initially I didn’t want to go running with him because I was embarrassed about how unfit I was compared to him. Maybe I was letting myself eat portions of dinner as big as his because I knew he’d still love me? Maybe I’m okay with not doing any exercise all weekend because I’d rather lounge in bed with my love?
But what happens if all of this is suddenly taken away from me? Yes, he loves me, but will he really have the same feelings for me if I even end up twice the size I was when we met? Will he realise that maybe we’re not that compatible after all, and that he’d much rather be with a little blonde gym bunny who doesn’t eat peanut M&Ms like they’re in danger of extinction?
But then one of two thoughts will take over:
1) I really need to sort myself out before he leaves me for someone thinner and prettier and perfect. Diet starts now.
2) He loves me just the way I am, and will always love me because I’m ME, not what I look like. Diet can wait.
And so begins my quest for the holy trinity. The weight/money/love triangle that will make all my fears disappear. Either that, or I’ll just try a little bit harder to get each third into balance, and see how it all works out. Here goes nothing..